sleep is neat
on bed of coloured
after the water
I enjoy this because it got my brain working. There’s chaos to this poem that makes it so attractive.
I noticed you used punctuation here where a signature of yours (from what I’ve seen of the poems above this) is your deliberate lack of using any. I like that because it gives a staccato, pause-start-pause rhythm to the poem.
For me, this poem was about the desire for suicide: I took the first stanza to be an explanation, perhaps a hope of what happens after death? The second, an admission of fear within the speaker (“remains nothing” – oh, god there’s nothing after this) and in the third stanza, beginning with a decision made by the speaker (“sleep is neat” – death is fine, a resolution to commit to it) followed by the final, definitive ender “after the water” – perhaps signifiying a metaphorical death (waves overcoming the speaker) or a physical death by drowning.
Thank you for liking my poem “Caught”; seeing it brought me to your blog 🙂
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