then sleep,
nothing remains
in moving
dreams inside
the sleep
deep,
remains nothing
but moving
dreams inside
and deeper
sleep is neat
on bed of coloured
dreams but
moving inside
after the water
2013
then sleep,
nothing remains
in moving
dreams inside
the sleep
deep,
remains nothing
but moving
dreams inside
and deeper
sleep is neat
on bed of coloured
dreams but
moving inside
after the water
2013
I enjoy this because it got my brain working. There’s chaos to this poem that makes it so attractive.
yes
I noticed you used punctuation here where a signature of yours (from what I’ve seen of the poems above this) is your deliberate lack of using any. I like that because it gives a staccato, pause-start-pause rhythm to the poem.
For me, this poem was about the desire for suicide: I took the first stanza to be an explanation, perhaps a hope of what happens after death? The second, an admission of fear within the speaker (“remains nothing” – oh, god there’s nothing after this) and in the third stanza, beginning with a decision made by the speaker (“sleep is neat” – death is fine, a resolution to commit to it) followed by the final, definitive ender “after the water” – perhaps signifiying a metaphorical death (waves overcoming the speaker) or a physical death by drowning.
Thank you for liking my poem “Caught”; seeing it brought me to your blog 🙂
– Shaheen
Hi there. Sorry that it took me for a while (yearsss) to to reply.
Thanks for your personal interpretation of this particular poem. I really appreciate it from the bottom of my heart 🙂